ROCD Doubting Attraction: When OCD Makes You Question Your Feelings

Do you ever find yourself wondering, “Am I attracted enough to my partner?” — even though you care about them deeply?

If these doubts feel constant, intrusive, and distressing, you may not be dealing with normal ups and downs of attraction. Instead, it may be a form of Relationship OCD (ROCD) where obsessive thoughts and compulsive checking keep you stuck in uncertainty.

💡 For a full overview of ROCD and treatment options, visit our ROCD Treatment Sydney page.

What Is ROCD Doubting Attraction?

This type of ROCD centres on obsessive doubts about your level of attraction to your partner. You might find yourself asking:

• “What if I don’t find them attractive enough?”

• “Why don’t I feel the same spark I used to?”

• “Does this mean I’m not with the right person?”

These thoughts trigger compulsions such as:

• Comparing your partner’s looks with others.

• Checking your feelings every time you see them.

• Seeking reassurance from friends, family, or even Google.

• Avoiding intimacy because you’re unsure how you feel.

The OCD cycle keeps doubts alive: thought → anxiety → reassurance/avoidance → brief relief → new doubt.

Why Does ROCD Target Attraction?

Attraction is an easy target for OCD because it’s subjective and changeable. Some common triggers include:

• Cultural myths about love: The idea that attraction should be constant and intense.

• Fear of making a mistake: Worry that being “not attracted enough” means you’re with the wrong partner.

• Normal fluctuations in desire: OCD misinterprets these as proof something is wrong.

• OCD’s demand for certainty: The impossible need to feel 100% sure about your attraction at all times.
  

Signs You May Be Experiencing ROCD Doubting Attraction

You might be dealing with this ROCD subtype if you:

• Constantly monitor your feelings of attraction.

• Compare your partner’s looks or personality to others.

• Feel guilt or shame when attraction dips.

• Ask friends or family if your relationship “seems right.”

• Avoid intimacy or closeness when doubts spike.
  

How Therapy Can Help With ROCD

The good news is that ROCD — including attraction doubts — is treatable with evidence-based therapy. At OCD Clinic Sydney, we use:

• ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention): The gold-standard treatment for OCD. ERP helps you face uncertainty about your feelings without compulsively checking or seeking reassurance.

• CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy): Helps challenge distorted beliefs about love, attraction, and relationships.

• Flexible Therapy Options: Sessions available in-person in Sydney or online anywhere in Australia.
  

Learn more about our ERP Therapy Sydney page. Explore our ROCD Treatment Sydney page.

Next Steps: Getting Support for ROCD

If doubts about attraction are overwhelming your relationship, know that you’re not alone — and that these thoughts are a recognised form of OCD. With the right therapy, it is possible to reduce compulsions, accept uncertainty, and build a healthier connection with your partner.

Take the first step today: Book a Free 15-Min Consultation →